Meditation is all the hype. Meditation is touted and recommended on every self-help and psychology platform out there. I practiced it off and on for years. Until recently, I grappled with the real purpose of meditation and how it benefited me. All I got out of it was a moment I slowed down, where I didn’t move or do anything. That action in itself can be beneficial. A pause. But I didn’t get much else out of it.

After years of trying to meditate off and on, I finally decided to dive into it. What was all the hype about? Why wasn’t I getting much out of it when it seemed like everyone else was? So, I dived in. And by dive in, I mean I read the first couple of chapters of a book on meditation. And what I learned in those couple of chapters (because I have yet to make it further in the book) has been echoed through other readings, teaching, and life experiences.

What I learned was to be a detached observer. Meditation isn’t about emptying your mind. It’s about observing it, without judgment and attachment. Let the thoughts and feelings flow without going along for the ride.

By being the observer, you discover all sorts of secrets and insights about yourself and the world. Each discovery has granted me a new level of peace I didn’t know I could have.

I’ve learned that meditation is the practice of being a detached observer. And just like playing a sport, you have practice, and you have the real game. In this case, life is the game. And as I practice more, the easier it is to apply it in my day-to-day life.

For instance, the kids yelling and running around precariously as kids do. It’s now much easier to hold off on reacting. Instead, I observe. I pause and notice – is there really a risk? Or do I just feel like a risk is involved because I’m overstimulated?

Another instance, I’m miffed about what someone said. It’s now easier to observe my feelings and (often, but not always) recognize that the feeling may be coming from my own internal story and not something personal the person has against me.

I still consider myself a beginner at meditating, but this bit of knowledge has transformed the benefits of meditation for me.