As a nurse I love identifying and helping others with their problems. It’s one of the major reasons I was attracted to the job.

And as a human, oh man, it’s so much easier to look at other people’s problems rather than my own. And when I have a problem, it’s so much easier to put the blame on others. It’s so much easier to find an outside obstacle and sit on it. We probably all love identifying that something outside of us is the cause of whatever problem we are facing. It’s a lot more comfortable that way.

When we do come across a problem, as humans we typically fall into two categories of how we approach the problem:

1. We become helpless, throw up are arms, and give up. “This is the way it is, I can’t do it.” or,

2. I’m going to show that problem what is wrong with and make it change.

We often forget there is a third option. That we can pause and look at ourselves. Look at what of our actions, thoughts, or core beliefs may be acting as an obstacle. Taking a look at what our values are. Letting go of what needs to be let go of and accepting what is reality.

When we show up in a relationship trying to tackle a problem with the options of #1 or #2, it can lend itself to co-dependency. Believing our needs can only be met by another and caretaking another to ensure our needs are being met. Where in fact, we – I – can meet my own needs.